Holly's essay is excerpted from "Of Thorns and Thickets: Herbs That Give Us Heart" published in Taproot Magazine.

Like many plant people, in the course of being an herbalist, I’m called on to offer herbal guidance, to teach about brewing teas and formulating medicines, or to suggest remedies for an illness. But twice this fall, I’ve been called upon for something a bit different: to help people grow thorns. Not real thorns, of course, but metaphorical thorns to help develop a certain firmness, to strengthen a person’s resolve in his or her convictions, and to capably handle difficult situations. In talking with these two people, I discovered that in addition to needing a little thorn-strength, they also needed compassionate heart support, and I knew it fell to two particular herbs to address both of these issues: rose and hawthorn.

Feeling Heart-Sick with Grief

In each of these cases, the person was not bodily sick but was heart-sick—grieving that she was facing an unwelcome, worrisome situation. Each of these women are kind and wonderful people, but their fear paralyzed their ability to present clear boundaries and, as a result, they weren’t sure how to stand up for themselves. In fact, each woman so desperately needed to learn the art of boundary-setting that she was sick at heart, afraid of doing what she most needed to do: to grow some sharp thorns. To do this, they needed some mythically important herbs.

Our literature is rich with stories and myths of these particular thorn-bearing plants—from Shakespeare’s Rosalind and Romeo, from fairy tales such as Brier Rose, to religious legends of Joseph of Arimathea. These tales evoke both the beauty and the sting of opening up one’s heart, especially with rose and hawthorn.

Roses

We all know rose: the lovely, fragrant, and symbolic shrub of gentle love. Her petals—sometimes pink, red, yellow or white—grace many a garden with a memorable scent and delicate beauty. Her flowers brew delightful tisanes, and her berries—called hips—provide immune-boosting vitamin C. But she is a finger-pricking shrub, with thorns that range from single sharp, triangular knobs on smooth stems to hairy stems covered with thousands of needle-like knives. A rose thicket makes an effective boundary: beautiful but impossible to pass.

Hawthorn

We may be slightly less familiar with rose’s cousin, the hawthorn tree. In the same family, hawthorn’s flowers are generally smaller and white, and its branches are smooth and its thorns much longer—sometimes as long as our fingers, more like spears than daggers. Its fruits are called haws, not hips, and its leaves brew up a lovely mint-flavored tea. Symbolic of love, health, and springtime good luck, hawthorn is lovingly nicknamed May.

How is it that two plants that symbolize love are covered in thorns? Shouldn’t love be open at all times—shouldn’t we be willing to give, and give, and give? Simply, no. Love is meant to come with boundaries and to teach us about who we are—and who we are not. About whom our beloved is—and is not. These fragrant and tasty plants whose myths teach of love are also here to remind us that having boundaries is a good thing, that fiercely protecting yourself can be necessary and requires no apology. And that the people around us also have boundaries that we must respect.

Healing for the Heart

It shouldn’t be surprising that these thorny bushes and trees have long been traditional remedies for the heart. Rose and hawthorn both present their thorny side while supporting the heart—literally and figuratively; rose (especially Rosa rugosa) is used for emotional heart issues while hawthorn (Crataegus spp.) is a cardiotonic, which lowers blood pressure, supports heart muscles, and strengthens the contractions of the heart itself.

As these women learned, you cannot reach your fullest potential if you allow yourself to be walked over. Each woman approached it differently: one woman planted rose bushes in her yard and drank hawthorn tea. The other contemplated the idea of growing thorns and what it meant for her business deals. Each woman quickly developed the resolve and courage she needed to face her situations with clarity, purpose, and strength.

Growing thorns does not necessarily mean being prickly; rather, it means having the courage to stay on your path. It’s not shielding yourself from life but rather opening up to the beauty, fragrance, and experience of love and life while standing firm in your core beliefs and values. I think that even more than love, thorny rose and hawthorn remind us to respect ourselves, our boundaries, and our vast potential.

Rose Petal Rice Pudding Recipe

This is one of my favorite recipes, and it's very easy to make (and can use a helping hand from any children that are interested!)

From The Healing Kitchen by Holly Bellebuono

1 tablespoon fresh or 1 teaspoon dried rose petals

½ cup hot water

1 cup water

1 to ¼ cups uncooked Arborio rice

a pinch of salt

1 teaspoon butter

2 cups milk

2 tablespoons dried rose petals (in tea strainers)

Two 2-inch cinnamon sticks

4 tablespoons sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Step 1: make the rose petal tea. Place the rose petals in a very small bowl. Cover them with ½ cup hot water. Set aside.

Step 2: In a heavy-bottomed saucepan, combine the water, rice, salt, and butter. Bring these to a light boil, then lower to a simmer until the rice is mostly cooked, stirring frequently. Add more water if necessary.

Step 3: In another saucepan, combine the milk, rose petals in strainers, cinnamon, and sugar. Bring these to a low simmer and stir frequently for 5 to 10 minutes.

Step 4: Pour the rice mixture into the pot with the milk and increase the heat to medium. Strain in the rose petal tea. Stir frequently for 5 to 10 minutes or until desired consistency is reached. Stir in vanilla extract. Remove the cinnamon sticks.

Yields 6 to 8 half-cup servings.

 For more herbal guidance and kitchen recipes, purchase The Healing Kitchen book here.