In Once Upon A Place, the image of a Guide is central. So many ancient stories, tales and myths feature a helpful Guide that it grew into a substantial part of the book. People in my parents’ generation may think of Jiminy Cricket as the ultimate story-guide, and indeed there are many examples and they occur all over the world.

In stories, guides can be people or animals or gods or other spritely figures, real or imagined. Guides are ubiquitous in stories because guidance is key to being able to move forward and the capacity for growth; few of us have all the answers and we need a strong supporter (or even a kick in the pants) to help us navigate and make necessary changes in our lives.

But a guide can also be not what they appear; they can be tricky and not what we expect. In the stories I researched for Once Upon A Place, I found there are characters in stories (and people in real life) who seem to be guides but are not transparent about their true motives, and it serves us well to develop a strong sense of clarity about who we need as a supporter and how we can use their help.

Here are some ways to recognize the valuable and authentic guides in your life as well as to identify those that are tricksters:

A Guide Is a Selfless Mentor 

Someone who has your best wishes at heart can be a supportive guide, a mentor to get you through a tough phase of your life or support your skill development at a job. Their role is to teach, or to listen, and ultimately to point out things you hadn’t considered and should think about when making a decision. A mentor of this caliber is hard to find and you should consider yourself fortunate if you find one. I had a true mentor when I was in college and lived next to a woman who became a tremendous guide for me–spiritually and emotionally, building my confidence and identifying my strengths.

This is where the image of thread is such a great idea. The spool of thread was used by Ariadne to guide Theseus out of the Labyrinth, for without it he would've been lost in the maze of chaos and never emerged the strong hero he came to be. In fact, Ariadne was also the heroine of this story, because without her Theseus would have failed.

When working with a mentor (or serving as a mentor), consider the image of the thread... a thin line woven and held out as a beacon, a marker for where to go. There's no coersion, no force, simply a lightweight thread, perhaps colored, perhaps braided, or maybe softly spun, laid gently on the ground and at the ready for showing the way.

A Guide Can Be a Teacher 

Instruction involves skill building but it can also direct thoughts and emotion. A teacher who can influence you to be your best self, to examine and reflect on your self as well as the world around you is a valuable guide. I knew a kind man who gifted me a book when I took on an executive job and he was on the board; it was a thoughtful gesture but true mentorship would have included conversations, stories, transparency, and skill-building in addition to the book.

A False Guide Has Motives 

What about a false guide? How do you know your mentor is who you need?

You can recognize when someone is falsely serving as a guide because they don’t have your best interests in mind. We see these in fairy tales and myths, when the main character needs help but a “guide” swoops in with words of encouragement or pointing directions but they’re really not helpful. If you need a guide you are looking for sustenance, for inspiration, for leadership in such a way that it leads to your own self-agency. A false guide or a trickster is using you to entertain themselves or find fame and glory through you. When you recognize this is happening, let them go.

In Once Upon A Place, I share stories where the main character has all but lost hope or even has lost his or her life. The myth of Inanna, for instance, shows Inanna (or Ishtar) descend and resurrect a flights of stairs to visit her sister in Hell. Once there, she is tortured and killed, and only when a true guide swoops into hell to save her (and sprinkle upon her the Waters of Life) does she revive and resurrect.

That’s what we need. A friend, a family member, a mentor who will sprinkle us with the Water of Life and Creativity and Perseverance and Illumination, who will let us drink from their Flask of Understanding until we are satiated, and then–when we are ready– it’s our duty to go and be a faithful mentor for someone else.

Once Upon A Place: Forests, Caverns and Other Place of Transformation in Myths, Fairy Tales and Film is available for pre-order now! Purchase from your favorite bookstores or order from Amazon, Llewellyn, Barnes and Noble, and anywhere you get your favorite books. Go here for more info about Once Upon A Place.